Living with Uncertainty – a new competence

Uncertainty is often treated as something temporary. A short gap between two stable states. An uncomfortable pause that should be resolved as quickly as possible. For many people, however, uncertainty is no longer a passing moment. It has become a lasting condition – professionally, physically, socially, personally.

Not knowing what comes next. Being unable to say with confidence what the right decision is. Lacking any reliable forecast. This is unsettling, but it is also increasingly normal. The real question, then, is not how to eliminate uncertainty, but how to live with it without becoming tense, paralysed or inwardly rigid.

Why uncertainty is so difficult to tolerate

Uncertainty does more than disrupt plans; it unsettles identity. When direction is unclear, people often lose their sense of control, competence and meaning. The nervous system does not respond philosophically, but biologically: heightened alertness, rumination, decision fatigue. There is also a cultural misunderstanding at play. Certainty is associated with strength, doubt with weakness. In practice, the opposite is often closer to the truth. Certainty is rarely stable. Doubt, by contrast, is often a sign of awareness.

Not knowing is not a failure

A crucial shift in perspective: not knowing is not a personal deficit. In many situations, it is simply an honest assessment of reality. Those who force clarity too early often make poorer decisions than those who are willing to acknowledge uncertainty and work within it. Uncertainty does not mean nothing is possible. It simply means not everything is possible at once.

Practical ways of dealing with uncertainty

1. Name the uncertainty – without trying to resolve it

Vague unease is harder to bear than clearly articulated uncertainty. Instead of “Something feels wrong”, try:

• I don’t know whether this career path still fits.

• I don’t know how reliable my energy levels will be in the coming months.

• I don’t know which option will make sense in the long run.

Naming the issue reduces diffuse anxiety, even without an immediate solution.

2. Separate decisions from actions

Uncertainty often paralyses because decisions are perceived as permanent. A useful distinction:

• Decisions: long-term, identity-shaping

• Actions: short-term, reversible

In uncertain periods, it is often enough to remain active without committing prematurely. Small steps are not a lack of conviction; they are a form of adaptability.

3. Deliberately shorten the time horizon

Uncertainty becomes overwhelming when projected too far into the future. Instead of “What should my life look like in five years?”, consider:

• What is needed this week?

• What supports me today?

• What is the next sensible step – not the perfect one?

Not knowing becomes manageable when the timeframe is contained.

4. Exercise control where it genuinely exists

Not everything can be controlled – but some things can. A clear distinction helps:

• Outside your control: long-term outcomes, other people’s responses, broader developments

• Within your control: daily structure, boundaries around information, rest, asking for support

In uncertain times, even modest routines can provide stability without creating an illusion of certainty.

5. Distinguish thinking from rumination

Rumination feels productive but rarely is. A practical test:

• Does this line of thought lead to clarity or action? If not, it is likely rumination.

• Setting limited “thinking windows” (for example, 20 focused minutes, then stopping) prevents uncertainty from expanding endlessly.

6. Use language that reduces drama

Internal narratives such as “I should have this figured out by now” or “Everyone else seems to manage” intensify uncertainty unnecessarily. More neutral alternatives:

• This question is currently open.

• I don’t yet have sufficient information.

• Not knowing is an accurate description of the situation.

  
  

Language shapes whether uncertainty feels like a threat or simply an open space.

Uncertainty as a skill

In a world that changes faster than it can be reliably planned, the ability to live with not knowing becomes a core competence. Not as passive resignation, but as an active stance: observing, weighing up, acting without guarantees.

Those who can tolerate uncertainty without questioning their own worth gain something other than security: psychological flexibility.

And that is often the more valuable resource.