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Self-Coaching – Between Brutal Honesty, Willpower, and Your Own Excuses

Self-coaching – is that even possible? Some coaches roll their eyes: “No way, without an outside perspective you’ll just spin in circles!” Others insist: “Of course it’s possible, you just need the right tools!” The truth? It’s somewhere in between. Yes, self-coaching works – but it’s not a walk in the park. It takes courage, honesty, and a good dose of discipline.


Because let’s face it: if you’re coaching yourself, you also have to be willing to call out your own excuses. And that can feel about as comfortable as looking at old vacation photos in clothes that no longer fit.





The Stages of Self-Coaching


Self-coaching isn’t one evening with tea and a journal. It’s a process that comes in stages:

  1. Create clarityWhat’s really at stake here? Spoiler: It’s rarely “my job sucks,” and more often fear of change.

  2. Observe yourselfNotice your patterns. How do you react to criticism? Or when you set a goal? Journaling helps – as does an unflinching look in the mirror.

  3. Honest analysisThe uncomfortable bit. Why do you keep repeating the same behavior? What fear or convenience keeps you stuck? (Yes, “bingeing Netflix until 2 a.m.” counts here.)

  4. Take responsibilityNo more blaming your boss, your parents, or the weather. This is the moment you decide: I’m in charge of this.

  5. Set goals and make a plan“I want to be happier” is too vague. “I’ll go to the gym twice a week” is concrete. Small, realistic steps are your best ally.

  6. Follow through with willpower and persistenceHere’s where most people stumble. Discipline matters – especially when the couch is making a very persuasive argument.

  7. Reflect and adjustNo plan survives perfectly intact. The key is checking in: What’s working? Where am I slipping back into old patterns? How can I tweak my approach?


What It Takes to Pull This Off

Successful self-coaching isn’t just about tools – it’s about mindset. You’ll need:

  • Self-reflection, to honestly observe your thoughts and feelings,

  • Honesty, even when it stings,

  • Patience, because real change takes time,

  • Structure, so your ideas don’t evaporate,

  • Willpower and persistence, to keep going,

  • and accountability, to stick to the goals you’ve set for yourself.


When a Coach Still Makes Sense

Self-coaching can take you far, but it has limits. If you keep going in circles, hit the same walls again and again, or find yourself blocked by emotions you can’t get past, it’s time to bring in support.


A coach isn’t a “shortcut” – they’re more like a guide. You might eventually get there on your own, but it will take longer, drain more energy, and you’ll likely miss a few important insights along the way.


Self-coaching isn’t a quick fix – it’s more like a training program for your mind and heart. It works if you’re ready to be brutally honest with yourself, stay committed, and stop believing your own excuses.


And sometimes, the strongest move isn’t doing it all alone – it’s knowing when having someone alongside you makes all the difference.

 
 
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